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He works through potential concerns before bringing them up with me.
I’ve had to realize that he doesn’t think out loud like I do, and when he talks I need to make sure I listen.
My husband is often unable to read my body language to know when I’m tired, or bored, or ecstatic.
As someone who learned at a very early age to communicate many emotions without speaking, I had a difficult time with this in the beginning of our relationship.
No more soft sighs and crossing my arms—I’m now able to more easily and assertively express myself (something I’ve had challenges with my entire life!
) We both consider ourselves funny people, but it takes him a little longer to realize that when I’ve crossed my arms and sighed, it means that I’m tired of the playful back-and-forth teasing.
My husband has a relatively mild form of Asperger’s, and through years of therapeutic coaching, he has learned how to recognize and express certain social behaviors that might otherwise come naturally to others. The biggest challenges, obviously, have to do with communication.
The biggest issue is our respective communication styles.
Asperger’s can vary from person to person, as it (and other similar conditions) falls on a spectrum that includes autism and other pervasive development disorders (PDDs). As a result I’ve worked very hard to not allow it to define our marriage, while also recognizing the potential challenges Asperger’s might present to our relationship.
When I was dating my husband, I didn’t think too much about the fact that he’d been diagnosed with Asperger’s as a child.
I started to think about it more once we were engaged.
And, importantly, I’m learning how to truly listen to someone else.
It can definitely be frustrating at times when my husband and I aren’t quite on the same wavelength.I stopped reading and seeking out advice when most of it ended up being, “My husband has something wrong with him.